Douche of the Week

 

In what has been another worthless season, the Mets decided to do some good on their trip to the Nations Capitol during their snooze-fest series against the Nationals.  The team went to visit the Walter Reed Army Medical Center.  This is a hospital for soldiers returning home from combat with major injuries.  Mets ownership has done a great job donating millions of dollars to the medical center.  The Mets have made it a tradition to visit during their road trips to Washington D.C.  Apparently, several Mets are above going.

Oliver Perez, Luis Castillo, and Carlos Beltran share the award for douche of the week.  They were the only three members of the roster to pull a no show.  How ironic is it that the three most hated members of the team did not show up?  It is also well known that all of them are unhappy with the franchise and want out. Good, leave, because Met fans don't want you either.  Don't let the door hit you.  They are all wastes of space on the field. 

In addition, they are a disgrace to society.  Those soldiers risked their lives representing and defending the same country that is paying those 3 pieces of garbage their multi-million dollar contracts.  They should be embarrased that they can't give up a few hours of their time for them.  They are spitting in the face of America.  Without this country, where the hell would any of them be?

The excuses for not showing up are comical.  Beltran apparently had a meeting about a high school he is building in Puerto Rico.  How coincidental is it that both were at the same time?  It is hard to believe that Beltran could not have scheduled the meeting for a different time or day.  Was it so urgent?  He is building them a school so they will meet with him whenever the hell he wants them to meet with him.  Such a lame ass excuse.  The Mets need to find a way to get him off the team.  He is a shell of the player he once was.  His knee is shot, he can't hit for power, and he looks like an old man in center field.  Hopefully, they can find a team dumb enough to believe he still has something left in the tank.

Luis Castillo's excuse was even lamer.  Apparently Castillo could not handle the situation.  "I don't like to see people like that, so I never go there," Castillo said. "Sometimes you see people with no legs, no arms. I don't like to see that."  You wanna know what I don't like to see Luis? You dropping a pop up against the Yankee's costing the team a game.

You letting ground balls go through your legs.  You weakly grouding out to the pitcher.  You bunting practically everytime you're up because you can't hit the ball.  If I wanted to, I could add another 20 things I do not like to see when looking at you.  Omar Minaya should lose his job just for the Castillo contract.  Every Met fan is sick of the sight of him in uniform.  He brings a negative aura with him that spreads throughout the entire franchise.  There is no way he can be back on the team next year.  Give him his money and tell him good riddens.

The worst of them all has to be Oliver Perez.  Perez refused to address the subject. "I don't answer anything about outside the stadium," he said.   What does that even mean?  What kind of response is that?  This is coming from a guy who is stealing money from the franchise.  His 3 year 36 million dollar contract is the second reason why Omar Minaya should be fired.  Outside the stadium is where Perez should be.  This guy is the most selfish piece of garbage.  He has done nothing since they gave him that contract.  He is the perfect example of someone who played for a contract and quit once he received a new one.   Everytime he pitches, he is awful.  He looks like he shouldn't be pitching for a high school team.  The Mets asked him to go to the minors to work out his problems and he refused to.  He takes up a roster spot that should belong to anyone else that has the ability to breathe.  He needs to be gone too.  If he is back on the team, Met fans should burn Citi Field down.  With Perez in it might I add.   

Going into next season, it is a must for the Mets to rid themselves of Beltran, Castillo, and Perez.  They will most likely have a new manager and general manager, and it would be criminal to burden them with those three worthless losers.  If that is the only change the team makes in the off-season, they will be heading in the right direction.  The fans need a reason to go to games, and that trio does nothing to contribute.  They are the problem, not the solution.  This should have already happened to Castillo and Perez.  Hopefully, the Mets will not continue to make the same mistake .  Bringing them back would be the biggest slap in the face.  They make Met fans vomit and guys like that are cancers to the organization. 

Thank God It's Back

Just like my fellow writer, Paul Spina Jr. of New York Pudding, I am too a recovering footballholic.  I always like to say Thank God For the NFL.  As a Met fan, I am sick of baseball.  NFL football is my religion.  The only thing in life I prefer over football is sex, and that is only some of the time.  Whether it is watching the games on my 52 inch HD television, playing fantasy football, gambling, or knock out pools,  the NFL tickles my fancy.   

I did not plan on giving predictions.  That is probably because I don't want to look like an idiot when I am totally wrong.  The NFL is the toughest league to predict.  It is almost guaranteed for half the teams that made the playoffs last season not to make them this year.  The salary cap really equalizes the league and gives most teams a decent shot to make a playoff run every season.

I am giving it my best shot, so here they are. 

Division winners:  AFC

East- New York Jets- With Revis back, they have the best defense in the league and that will be enough to get them to the top of the division. 

North- Pittsburgh- Big Ben misses the first 4 games, but their schedule for those games is not difficult.  Big Ben will come back on a mission and they will bounce back from last seasons disappointment.

South- Indianapolis- As long as Peyton Manning is playing quarterback, I will never pick against them.  They are a lock for at least 12 wins.

West- San Diego- This division is awful.  They have the best player in the division in Phillip Rivers.  They will not lose a game against their division opponents and might even have the best record in the AFC.

Wild Card-
New England- Defense and offensive line are not as good as they have been.  Wes Welker coming back from a torn ACL will be key.  As long as Brady stays healthy, they are good enough to win 10 games.

Baltimore- For a change, it will be the offense that carries them.  Joe Flacco is ready to become an elite quarterback and he has the receivers and running backs to take him there.

Division Winners- NFC

East- Dallas- They have the most talent in the division.  They have a crap head coach, but even he can't screw this team up in the regular season.  Tony Romo has proven to be a very good regular season quarterback.

North- Green Bay- I hate Favre so I refuse to pick the Vikings.  Aaron Rogers is a beast and their offense has the potential to be dominant.  They also still have a great home field advantage

South- New Orleans- Atlanta seems to be the hot pick, but I think New Orleans still has the most talent in the division.  They will probably go at least 7-1 and possibly 8-0 at home and will play decent enough on the road to get them 12 wins.

West- San Francisco- Just like the AFC West, this division is terrible.  Kurt Warner retiring really hurt Arizona.  The 49ers are the best of a crappy group.

Wild Card:
Minnesota- They will not be as good as they were last year, but Favre and their defensive will be good enough to get them back to the playoffs

Atlanta-  Just like Joe Flacco, Matt Ryan is ready to become an elite quarterback.

AFC Championship Game:
Pittsburgh at Indianapolis

NFC Championship Game:
New Orleans at Dallas

Super Bowl:
Indianapolis over Dallas

Week 1 Knock Out Pool Suggestion:
Tennessee over Oakland

Here is a video of last seasons highlights to get you jacked up for the season

The Great Compromise

All is well in Jet land today.  Rex Ryan's fat ass even managed to get air born and jump for joy.  The Jets and Darrelle Revis finally kissed and made up.  Revis ended his 36 day hold out and signed a 4 year contract where he will receive a guaranteed $32 million.  The signing came out of no where.  All we heard from the media and the Jets was both sides were not close to an agreement.  I was almost convinced that neither side was willing to work with the other, and Revis might actually sit out the entire season.  They were bickering and fighting more than the Jersey housewives.   America was built on compromise and that finally took place between the Jets organization and Revis.  It came down to the fact that both sides need one another. 

If the Jets have any hope of going to a Superbowl, Revis must be on the field.  They know it, we know it, and he knows it.  Rex Ryan is this so-called defensive genius, but it is all about the players on the field.  The Jets have a bunch of good players on defense, but Revis is the only great one.  He brings the defense to a higher level.  He is the best defensive player in the game.  He shuts down every wide receiver he matches up against.  The defense depends on that because it allows them to send extra defenders to attack the quarterback.  The Jets would have to completely change their defensive style without Revis.

Revis also needs the Jets.  If he sits out, he does not get paid.  That is a good chunk of change not in his pocket.  Let us also remember there is still no contract agreement between the players and owners for next season.  There is a chance that football will not be played.  If Revis held out, it might not just be one year, but potentially two.  To miss 2 years in your prime would be detrimental.  It would be very difficult for him to come back and be the same player he was.

I have to give Rex Ryan a lot of credit for helping get Revis signed.  I make fun of him a lot for being a loud mouth and fat ass, but he really cares about his players and they have the same affection for him.  His trip down to Florida with owner Woody Johnson helped seal the deal.  Most coaches in the NFL would never have done what Ryan did.  He is a true players coach and will always get the best out of them.  He should tone it down a bit because according to him every player on the team is the best.  The players will throw that back in the organizations face when they want to get paid.

Hopefully we will see how this all transpired on Hard Knocks, Wednesday night.  It is must see tv.

Here are some Revis highlights.


          

Someone has Bieber Fever

You wanna know how I know you're gay? You went to the Justin Bieber concert last week.  I am referring to Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez attending the concert.  We now know what music Sanchez listens to while getting pumped up for a football game.  This is almost as bad as A-Rod going to the Madonna concert a couple of years ago.  The Sanchez sighting was first reported by WFAN's Boomer and Carton radio show, and confirmed by my father and brother who work security at MSG.  

They said he was with his smoking hot super model girlfriend.  To be fair I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he went for her.  As a married man, I totally understand being dragged to places I don't want to go.  For me it's clothing stores and temple on the Jewish holidays.  However, I would never ever let my woman drag me to a teenage pop star concert.  I don't care what she said to me.  She could threaten divorce and I still wouldn't go.  I have respect for myself.   I knew Sanchez was a huge pretty boy, but I did not know he was a bitch.         

Is Sanchez a 15 year old girl?  This is not acceptable for the starting quarterback of the New York Jets.  I also find it creepy for a guy in his early 20s to go see Justin Bieber.  Jet fans should really be bothered that their quarterback might be a pedophile.  Did he also have back stage passes and beg for his autograph?  He probably copied down the entire set list for the night and went to bed whacking off to his poster.  The whole situation is fugazie.

His teammates should rip him apart.  How do they look him in the face without laughing?  He provided them with such great material.  If one of my friends went to a Bieber concert, I would make fun of them for the rest of their life.  Sanchez deserves the same abuse for such a pathetic act.  The situation is embarrassing.

Idiot of the Week

This is why I do not wear $50G jewelry.  So many things to worry about.  There is always the threat of it being stolen or lost.  You must be very careful.  Miami Dolphin defensive end Kendall Langford was not careful.  His $50G diamond earring fell of while practicing.  How dumb do you have to be to wear a $50G diamond earring to football practice?  Logic suggests there is a good chance it will fall off while attempting to knock someone out on the field.  I can only imagine Bill Parcell's thoughts on the situation. 

Langford claims he forgot, but I doubt that.  We always see these professional athletes showing off their bling.  It is a competition they have between one another.  I thought they have rules against wearing jewelry while playing sports?  I learned that in little league when the umpire stopped the game and told me to take off my silver chain. 

I am glad this happened.  I am sick of these spoiled athletes showing off their wealth to the public.  Millions of people in this country are out of a job and it is insulting to them.  Whether it's 50 tattoos or thousands of dollars of jewelry, most of it is very unecessary.  They look awful with all that stuff on.  Some of them don't even look like real people anymore.  They look more like an art canvas or a display case at Tiffany's. 

The funniest part of this ordeal was Langford and his teammates searching the field for the earring.  Seeing a bunch of 300 pound million dollar athletes crawling around on their hands and knees is quite humorous.  Take a look.

Best Sport's Brawls

Nyjer Morgan charging the mound the other night and starting a bench clearing brawl was a classic sports fight.  Everyone loves a good brawl.  Games can get boring and at times more excitement is needed.  It's good to know there is still some bad blood between teams and players in sports.  Too often it seems like players are best friends with one another.  Seeing that fight inspired me to research YouTube for the greatest sports brawls. 

Here are some of the best- Readers can decide their favorite:


Miami Hurricanes vs. Florida International

Can you believe Miami (A.K.A the school for current and future criminals) football players would act like that?  If you don't know what I am talking about, watch ESPN 30 for 30, "The U".


A-Rod vs. Jason Varitek

A-Rod actually put up a good fight.  I always though he was a pretty boy puss, but he got up in Varitek's face.  It is always great to see a good Yankee Red Sox battle.


Ron Artest vs. Detroit Fans

Does it shock anyone that something like this would happen in the NBA, or Detroit.  This fight has it all: fighting on the court, fighting in the stands, fans throwing stuff at players.  Ron Artest gets all the hype, but my favorite part is Stephen Jackson (who is also crazy) throwing hay makers like Mike Tyson at fans.


High school Baseball

I thought sportsmanship was taught at the high school level.  Not only did that poor kid get thrown out and laid out at home, the catcher then spiked the ball in his face.


Kermit Washington punches out Rudy Tomjonovich

Going back old school.  Talk about knocking someone the fuck out.  This punch basically ended Tomjanovich's career and caused him major facial injuries.

Bring Back the Celebrations

Here is a video of some of the best touchdown celebrations you will probably never see again.


Celebrations like that are extinct.  The NFL might say they allow celebrations, as long as the players do not use props, but they are not telling the truth. Any time I have seen one, it is a 15 yard penalty.  Additionally, the prop is what makes the celebration better. All celebrations should have some type of prop or gimmick. Give me cell phones, sharpies, golf putts, sit ups, signs, pom poms, marriage proposals to cheerleaders, or any other creative masterpiece players can invent.

The NFL is the No Fun League. What sucks most is Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco are now on the same team. They set the bar for celebrations and their brilliant minds will be prevented from displaying their talents as a tandem. We are being cheated. Scoring a touchdown in the NFL is not easy and players should be able to enjoy it. It makes the game fun and entertaining, but what do I know.

I even came up with my own touchdown celebration.  After I score,  I fall to the ground acting as I am giving birth.  My teammates surround me encouraging me to push.  I continue to push and the ball pops up (as the baby) and my teammate catches it, takes out a scissor to simulate the doctor cutting the umbilical cord.  He then hands me over the ball so I could cradle my baby (the ball).  I think this is a pretty cool, yet somewhat creepy celebration.  It is all about creativity.       

Even a boring sport like soccer has great celebrations.  Check out this one.  


This is one of the best celebrations I have ever seen.  It has become a YouTube sensation.   It had creativity and humor.  I would also like to give them bonus points because the entire team was involved.  That is the type of teamwork we need more of in sports.  It is easy for one person to celebrate, but to choreograph an entire team celebration is extremely impressive.  Maybe T.O or Ochocinco taught it to them?  They were forced to because their own league banned their beautiful art.