Golden Rule for the New York Baseball Fan

I would like to begin this article by stating I would root for Bloods and Crips if they played against the Yankees.  I am a Met fan and because of that, I hate the Yankees.  I do not believe in the whole "I root for both teams", or "I root for New York".  That is so freakin lame.  Have some guts and choose a side.  People who say that should be punched in the face.  Would you practice Islam and Judaism? Or root for Michigan and Ohio St.? The answer is no.  It should be the same way for New York baseball fan hood.  You are either a Yankee fan or a Met fan.

 

WFAN radio host Craig Carton claims to be a Met fan, yet he roots for the Yankees.  He started his whole church for "Met fans for Yankee fans".  He is such a fugazi Met fan.  When he speaks, he sounds more like a Yankee fan.  He actually gloats when they win.  I think he wet himself last year when they won the World Series.  It's embarrassing.  A real Met fan would never take joy from a Yankee victory.  A real Met fan sulks and suffers the pain and misery.  Pain and misery is what makes a Met fan a Met fan. 

Part of being a Met fan is rooting against the Yankees and taking in the joy when they lose.  One of the best moments I ever had was when they blew game 7 against Arizona in 2001.  Seeing the Yankee fans suffer gave me amazing satisfaction.  My distaste for them is so high, I actually rooted for the Braves in the World Series in 1999 after they defeated the Mets in the NLCS.  I also rooted for the Phillies last year in the World Series.  I would rather see a Mets division rival win than the Yankees.  I don't know any Braves or Philly fans, so I don't have to see their joy thrown in my face.  When the Yankees win, it is thrown in your face like a juicy white head.  Isn't it amazing how everyone in the city becomes a Yankee fan.  People who never paid attention to the Yankees jump on the bandwagon.  It makes me sick.  There is nothing worse than being a Met fan when the Yankees win a World Series.  It was the worst week of my life.  The parade makes you want to puke.  I literally thought about blowing my brains out numerous times. 

Why do I hate the Yankees so much you ask?   A lot of it is jealousy.  I have lived my entire life in the shadow of the Yankees.  Since I was born, they have won 5 World Series.  The Mets won one and that was in 1986 when I was four, so that doesn't count.  The one other year the Mets made the World Series, they lost to the Yankees.  Every season when the Yankees are in the playoffs, the Mets are usually on the golf course getting ready to tee off.  Additionally, most of my friends are Yankee fans.  I had to deal with them making fun of me all my life for being a Met fan.  Screw them because I am a better person for being a Met fan.  Being a Yankee fan is easy.  Being a Met fan takes guts.  It prepares you for the difficulties in life.  The Met fans will make it through anything that comes their way.